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"If you live to be a hundred, I
want to live to be a hundred
minus one day, so I never have
to live without you." -Winnie the Pooh
Tory got out of her small car carefully. She rarely wore a dress, and she knew this one had slid way up her thighs while driving. The black dress came a few inches above her knees, but she had put on a few pounds since the last funeral she had worn this too. So she had added a jacket, hoping to cover up the tightness. Her breasts looked like they were ready to leap out of the top, which was normally not low cut, but it now showed an expanse of cleavage she would have rather concealed. And that is why she had added a silky scarf at the last minute.
She locked the car door, and stumbled a little as she turned. She caught herself with one hand against her small ‘bug’ car. The black high heels were also something she rarely put on. She looked up and saw a man standing just outside the side door to the funeral home. It was obvious he had been watching her. She had left her glasses in her bag, after parking the car. It was pure vanity. She had just gotten bifocals, and she still had trouble walking in them. With high heels, and a too tight dress, she wasn’t taking any chances. She started towards him, her head lifted just enough so he wouldn’t think she had been looking at him.
Chad watched his cousin walking towards him. Damn! He thought to himself. She sure had changed in the last ten years or so since he had seen her. He had gone off to college, and from there left to see the world. He had been stunned when he received the call that his father had passed away. He had made arrangements as quickly as possible, and then flown home. He knew he had changed as well. Ten years, some of them pretty lean and tough, a lot of hours in the sun and hard work had changed him physically, and emotionally. He was less friendly now; more reserved as his friend Pete put it.
He watched the enticing jiggle beneath her jacket as she walked precariously on the high heels. He didn’t remember Tory being so sexy. Of course, when he had last seen her, she had been 14, and he had been 19. He was now almost 30, and very successful. He had made a very lucrative career for himself as a photojournalist. And now, he mainly just took commissions for special pieces or portraits.
He waited until she was right next to him before he spoke. “Ignoring your relatives now, Squirt?”
Tory nearly lost her balance as the man spoke to her. His hands reaching out and grabbing was the only thing that stopped her from turning an ankle or falling down. She looked up and saw that it was Chad Cassidy. Up close, she could see how handsome he was now. His face was rugged looking, tanned, with fine smile wrinkles in the right places. And even though he was only about 30, she saw that his temples were already turning gray. He looked so different, except for his eyes. She would never forget those piercing gray eyes. They reminded her of stormy skies, and she loved storms.
“Chad.” Tory’s voice was squeaky as she said his name. It had been so long, she wasn’t sure how to greet him. They had once been so close, people called them mutt and Jeff. Staring into his eyes now, it seemed like yesterday. Suddenly, she was aware of the heat from where they were pressed close together, as he had moved to steady her. She blushed and stepped away.
“I’m sorry for being so clumsy. And I left my glasses off so I wouldn’t stumble. Guess that idea didn’t work, huh?” Tory opened her purse and dug her glasses out. She slipped them on and looked back at Chad. Yup, she thought to herself. He was still too damned attractive.
“Mom had said she spoke to you and that you were going to try and make it.” Chad thrust his hands into his pants pockets to keep them from reaching out to her once again.
Tory nodded. “I got the week off, so I brought my suitcase. She wants me stay, if I could. I was lucky everything fell together okay at work.”
Chad nodded. His mother hadn't told him that she had asked Tory to stay with them. He couldn’t keep the thoughts out of his head and wondered what room she would be sleeping in tonight. Luckily, before he could consider what bed, the door opened and his younger brother, Luke stepped out.
“Good Lord, look what the cat dragged in!” Luke joked as he grabbed Tory and hugged her tightly. He was Tory’s age and they had been good friends, ever since Chad had gone away to college. “I’m glad to see you are wearing your glasses. I wouldn’t want you wandering into the wrong bathroom again!”
Tory blushed. That was one incident she would happily forget. Luke continued on though. “Let’s get you inside, cuz. Everyone else is already here.” He took Tory’s arm and started for the door again. He looked back over his shoulder at his older brother. “Mom was just asking where you were, Chad. You going to come back in now?”
Chad nodded and followed the two younger people back inside. He couldn’t help but notice the way Luke had wrapped his arm so familiarly around Tory’s waist. The crowd of people inside all quickly enveloped them. Chad moved from group to group, making sure he stayed with his mother as much as possible. He had gone over to talk to the minister, when he glanced up and saw that his mother was hugging Tory. He was too far away to hear what was being said, but he did see Tory was nodding her head a lot.
It was about two hours later that he saw Tory making her way towards the front door. He quickly excused himself, and followed her. He didn’t think she would be leaving for there was still another hour of the visitation. He found her outside, at the bottom of the steps from the front porch. She hadn't heard him approaching, and was making no effort to stop the tears moving slowly down her cheeks. She was startled when a pristine white handkerchief appeared in front of her.
She took it and turned to see Chad standing to the side of her. She sniffed and dabbed at the tears. Chad smiled at her gently.
“I remember that you always hated crying with other people around.”
Tory sniffed loudly. Chad had seen her at her worst over the years. She had no need for artifice or pretense around him. “Some things never change do they?”
Chad nodded. “And some things never stay the same, do they?”
“Life and death, of course taxes, the inevitable outcomes for us humans. And if rumor has it correctly you have been paying everyone’s fair share of taxes the last few years.”
Chad shrugged, letting her change the conversation. “I got lucky. I was in the right place, at the right time.”
“I know. Your father would show me all the photos you would send him each time I came out to visit. He was very proud of you, Chad. He didn’t want you to get stuck running the farm, as he had.”
Chad looked back at the funeral home and then at Tory. “You feel like taking a little walk around the town square?”
Tory nodded, grateful for a moment away from the intense atmosphere inside. They walked a few hundred yards in silence. The sun was just beginning to set, and many of the businesses had already closed for the day. Chad was glad to see the small coffee shop was still open. He touched her arm lightly as he spoke.
“How about something to drink? I’ll treat, no dutch this time.”
Tory laughed remembering all the times they had come here when they were younger, and he always told her before entering that she better have enough money, cause he wasn’t paying for her too. Inside the small shop, Chad gestured towards the booth at the back, but Tory shook her head. She walked instead to the counter, and with a little difficulty, she scooted onto the stool. Chad sat next to her. He didn’t recognize the teenaged girl who offered them menus. He was surprised when the girl greeted Tory.
“Evening, Tory. I’m coming in the morning to church service for your uncle. Dad is already gone home to change. He is coming over with mom, tonight.”
“Hi, Shelly. What about school though?”
Shelly shrugged. “I told my teachers, and they understood. Mom is going with me in the morning, but Dad is going to keep the shop open. What will you have tonight?”
Tory smiled and said she’d just have a soda and turned to look at Chad. He had watched the interchange between the two women, probably ten years different in age. It was obvious that she knew Tory, which surprised him.
“How about we splurge and have that huge sundae you were always wanting and could never afford?”
Tory smiled. “It sounds good, but in case you didn’t notice, I can’t afford to add another pound under this dress.”
Chad let his eyes move over her curvy body. He shrugged and ordered the sundae, with two spoons. “You look damned good to me, babe. I like my women curvy. Gives a man nice soft things to hold on to.”
Tory blushed brightly at his words. He couldn’t be flirting with her, could he? She couldn’t deny the heat that shot through her at his words though. Nor could she erase the thought of her soft things that he could hold on to, if he wanted to. She hurriedly took a sip of the ice water Shelly had given her when she offered the menus. She took a deep breath. But the next moment, she felt Chad’s hand come around her and lightly rest on her farthest hip. She felt the instantaneous jolt of electricity and it took a moment for her to realize that Chad had done it to call her attention to the photos that hung above the counter, on the wall opposite them.
“There is the one of my dad with Harold.”
Shelly was just coming back with their sundae. She turned and looked at the picture. When she turned back, it was obvious she realized who the man with Tory was.
“Oh, gosh! I didn’t recognize you, Mr. Cassidy. My dad has a couple of your prints hanging up at home. I wanted him to bring them here, but he doesn’t want anything to happen to them. I’m sorry about your dad. He and my grandfather were really good friends.”
Chad nodded and took a bite of the sundae. “I know, Shelly, isn’t it? Your dad and I were in school together. I had no idea he had a kid your age.”
Tory and Shelly both laughed. Like most teens, Shelly looked a few years older than her 13 years. She was growing up fast. She was pretty sure that Chad was feeling his age at the moment. Not living around here, he wouldn’t be as aware of changes and how seeing people you knew as kids, having kids, made you feel older. She took the other spoon and took a bite full of the luscious ice cream. She closed her eyes and actually sighed.
“Good, huh?” Chad asked her with a smile.
Tory looked over at him and had to nod her head. “I’ll pay for it though, you know. I’ll probably have to resort to plan B for what to wear tomorrow now.”
Chad laughed and picked up the cherry. He swirled it in the chocolate and then he put it in his mouth. He didn’t bite it off its tender stem though. He merely sucked he chocolate off and then he offered the cherry to Tory.
Tory was stunned as she met his eyes. She knew she should say no, but she found her lips parting and letting him place the succulent red berry between her lips. She closed her teeth and snapped it off. She wanted to look away from him but his gray eyes pinned her the whole while she chewed the tiny red morsel. It was a simple act really, she told herself silently. Something they had often done as kids, growing up. Sharing food, stories, friends and even a sleeping bag one time.
Damn! She cursed her memory. Why did she have to remember that! She quickly picked up the water and took another sip of cold water, hoping to cool her heated body down. When she looked over at Chad, he was still eating the ice cream, unaware of the torment he was causing inside her body, and her head. She took a couple more bites of ice cream. There was finally just one bite left and Chad scooped it up, just as he had done countless times with everything they shared. Only this time, instead of devouring as he had in the past, he moved his spoon over to Tory. He didn’t say a word, just held her eyes, waiting for her to take the last bite. She told herself to refuse, but she didn’t. Her lips parted and she took the bite inside her mouth. That last bite seemed sweeter and cooler than the first ones had.
Chad set the spoon down and laid a ten-dollar bill on the counter. Shelly hurried over and said she would get his change. Chad winked at her and told her to keep it. Tory turned on her stool but before she could maneuver off again, Chad put his hands on her waist and lifted her down. It was probably her imagination that he held her for a moment longer than necessary, but then she told herself to stop being so silly.
Outside, they continued to walk slowly. He asked a few questions about the town, and was further surprised that Tory knew the answers. He had thought she still lived in the city she had grown up in, which was about 40 miles away. Every so often, he would lift his hand to touch her waist, her shoulder or her arm. It all seemed so casual, to anyone watching, but Tory felt like her nerves were on edge. She was glad when they came full circle and were back in front of the funeral home. They went back up the steps and inside.
It appeared no one had missed them either. She started to move away, but Chad reached out and caught her forearm with his hand. From that point on, he made a point to keep her at his side. He was strong for his mother, often noticing when she was near breaking point, and he would bring Tory with him, over to comfort her. The last hour went quickly. They got separated as Tory kissed her cousins good-bye, and nodded that she would see them in the morning. Her stepbrother and sisters had left a short time earlier. So she went out to her car and was just opening the door when she heard a footfall behind her. She turned and saw that Chad had come over.
“I thought I’d ride to the house with you, Tory. Mom is going back with Luke and Carol and their kids.” He reached over and held the door for her to get into the car. There was no way to avoid hiking her skirt up to get behind the wheel. As Chad closed her door, she was aware that the lower two-thirds of her thighs were exposed. She started the car and waited for Chad to get in beside her. He had to reset the seat so he had room for his longer legs. “Nice clown car, Tory.”
Tory glared at him, but backed the car out of the lot. She had driven the road so many times to his parents’ house that she didn’t need any directions. She was surprised though when she saw Luke’s car turn off. “Are they stopping at Luke’s before they come out to the house?”
Chad waited until they had passed the road his brother had turned on to. “No. Mom decided to spend the night there, instead of coming back home. It is a shorter drive, and having the kids there will help distract her.”
Tory took a moment to absorb his words. She realized that there would be just the two of them at his parents’ home. It was too late to change her mind now though. She drove in silence until they reached the farm. She pulled into the drive, thinking the house looked the same as it always had. It was square shaped and had windows on every side. You could open the windows and easily cool the house even on the hottest of summer days. She stopped the engine and turned to look at Chad.
She saw the melancholy look on his face, staring at the house. He turned a moment later. “It doesn’t seem possible that so much time has passed, Tory.”
Tory reached over and patted his thigh; her only thought was to comfort him. He smiled and covered her hand for a second. He then opened his door and climbed out. He made a great show of how hard it was too get out of a ‘clown’ car, and how stiff he would be from now on. He came back to the trunk with her and took her two bags. He turned and carried them up to the back door. It was funny she thought, in all the years she had come out here, she had never used the front door. The door was unlocked, as it always was. And Chad led the way into the house. They walked through the small mudroom and into the kitchen. He told her he would take her bags on back, and Tory followed him.
The ‘boys’ room had been a connecting room. Whenever she had come to stay, the two brothers would sleep together and she would take Chad’s room. He paused outside the door to his room. “Which bed do you want for the night?”
It was silly, but Tory had to fight the urge to say she’d share his. Instead, she said it wouldn’t matter and since he was probably already moved into his old room, she would use Luke’s old room. She went in and noticed that it had been redecorated since she was there a few months earlier. There were now two twin beds, for whenever Luke’s two boys would come and visit their grandparents.
Chad set her cases down and looked at the twin beds. He thought about the king sized bed in his room. It was brand new and had just been delivered the day before. He was pretty sure that Tory didn’t know that he was moving back here permanently, to run the farm from now on. He wasn’t sure what she would think about the idea either.
“I’m going to grab a quick shower and get comfortable. Would you like to watch some television with me to help wind down?”
Tory nodded and watched as Chad went through the connecting door to his room. The shower/bathroom the boys had shared was in his room. There was another bathroom, across the hall, that his parents had used for their own, and was for visitors to use as well. She quickly decided to clean up a little as well. She lifted her case onto the bed and pulled out her perfectly respectable pajamas and robe. She had purchased them when she knew she would be staying here the week.
In the bathroom, she filled the tub once she had heard the shower stop. Sometimes there wasn’t enough water for them both, and someone would find themselves standing in cold or hot water. She stripped her clothes off and got into the tub. It felt nice to immerse her body. She dunked her hair into the water, and then lathered it quickly. She washed all the gel out of it, and rinsed. Her hair looked quite dark when it was wet, not the usual fiery red color. She had had a permanent a few weeks back, and used the gel to tame the curls that had over reacted to the solution. Instead of a body wave, she had a wild set of ringlets, unless they were held down with gel and her hair pulled back into a sedate bun, which was how it had been tonight. She scrubbed her face clean of makeup and quickly finished her bath.
She saw the powder and lotion she had always used was still in the cabinet. She used some and put the sedate pajama jacket and trousers on. It was warm and she left the robe hanging on the doorknob. After putting her clothes in the room, she could hear the television and wandered down the hall to the living room. She saw that Chad was already seated on the sofa and had made some popcorn and opened two root beers. She couldn’t remember how many late nights the two of them had shared, sneaking out of their bedrooms and creeping down the hallway to watch the television, long past their bedtimes. They would sneak into the kitchen and make the popcorn as quietly as possible, and then always have a root beer with it.
Chad looked up and saw her standing in the faint light cast by the television. He was sure that she had no idea how sexy she looked in the silky pajamas that draped her body. Her wet hair had partially soaked her top before she had shoved it back, and it clung to her pointed nipples. Damn! He was having a harder time with each passing second remembering Tory was his cousin. Granted, she was only a ‘step’ cousin, since her mother had been married once before. But they had still grown up together, thinking of each other as ‘true’ cousins. But he sure as hell couldn’t shake the attraction he was feeling for her.
Tory sat on the sofa next to him, accepting the root beer he handed to her. She took a hand full of popcorn and looked at the television, but not really seeing the screen. She hadn't noticed until she sat down that Chad was dressed exactly as he used to for their late night popcorn parties. He was wearing a pair cotton boxer shorts and that was it. She could see out the corner of her eye his strong muscular thigh, which was just a few inches from her. When she leaned forward to set her soda on the coffee table, she managed to sneak a look at his chest. She quickly leaned back. Yup, he was still lean and muscular, and probably even more so now. Then he had still had the body of a young man, just beginning his adult journey. But now, he had the body of a man who had seen the world.
Tory felt hot all of a sudden, in spite of the cooler night air being stirred by the ceiling fan overhead. She had to use the hand on the side away from Chad to fan her face. She could feel the flush on her face. She was glad of the dark, sure that Chad wouldn’t be able to see it. Suddenly, she became aware of what they were watching and gasped. She turned and looked at Chad and found him grinning at her. They were watching some kind of adult film! She had been sitting here for several minutes and not said a word.
“I was wondering when you would notice. I guess the station came with the satellite program my folks got when I bought them the dish. I’ll admit though, I was enjoying it until you came out. I figured I’d change it to something else though.”
Tory turned back to the screen and realized that it was not so much pornography, as it was an erotic movie. The scene was sensual and was rapidly progressing to its climax. She opened her mouth to tell him to turn the station, but the words choked in her throat. Combined with her heightened senses, Chad’s nearness and his male scent, she was incredibly aroused. She told herself to move or tell him to turn it off, before she made a fool of herself.
But she didn’t do either; she just stared at the screen. She leaned over and grabbed her root beer, hoping it would help cool her down. She tilted it to take a drink, when Chad reached over and lightly touched her shoulder. Tory screeched and jumped and spilled most of root beer down the front of her pajamas.
Chad stood quickly and told her not to move and ran to the kitchen for some towels. As he came back in, he flipped the overhead lights on, flooding the room that had been almost completely dark seconds before. Tory had to squint her eyes and therefore didn’t see Chad come back. And then she felt him pressing the towel against her chest. She tried to open her eyes, but it was still too bright. She tried to tell him she could manage, but he told her to shut up and stand still. If they got root beer on the rug, his mom would have a hissy fit.
Tory laughed and let him dab at her wet pajama top. She slowly opened her eyes and saw he purposely going around her breasts. She blushed as she looked down and saw how blatantly revealed her full breasts and pointed nipples were under the wet silky material.
“I can manage the rest,” she told him softly.
Chad looked up and met her gaze. He wanted to tell her that he was happy doing it, but he didn’t. He handed a dry towel to Tory and watched as she pulled the material away from her skin.
“I need another bath, I’m afraid.”
Chad nodded. “Why don’t you use the one in my room, since it has the shower stall?”
Tory agreed and started back towards the bedrooms. She was aware of Chad following her. She stopped abruptly when she realized she only had one pair of pajamas with her. She told Chad, and he offered her one of his T-shirts. She followed him into his room and he pulled out a white, soft cotton shirt. Tory took it and went quickly into the shower. She washed off quickly, being careful not to get her hair wet again. Out of the shower, she dried off quickly, and toweled her hair. She knew it was going to go ballistic, but she could rewet it in the morning. She pulled the T-shirt on and walked out of the bathroom.
Chad was lying on the bed, waiting for her. He hadn't turned on the lights, so when she opened the bathroom door, she was silhouetted from behind by the light. Her hair was a riot of curls around her head and shoulders and his shirt draped her body and ended mid-thigh. He spoke softly. “That works pretty good.”
Tory looked up and saw him lying on the bed, the covers pulled back. He looked like he had been waiting for her, almost like a lover would wait, in the bed, covers peeled back, inviting her to join him. Tory shook her head, cursing her imagination. She flipped the light off, planning to walk straight through to her room. But she didn’t take into account that things might have been moved around. She stubbed her toe, lifted her foot and lost her balance. She fell sideways onto the bed. She landed across Chad’s stomach, knocking the air out of him for a moment.
“Oh, God! Chad I’m so sorry,” Tory tried to turn and lift herself at the same time. But with Chad trying to help, it didn’t work as well as either planned. Tory ended up on her back and Chad loomed over her, their legs half tangled in the covers. She spoke quickly, trying to deny what was happening. “I’m still a klutz, as you can see.” She looked up and saw Chad was staring down at her. He wasn’t smiling though. He looked strained, intent and driven. She felt one hand come to rest on her shoulder, and she wasn’t sure if he was pressing her down or merely trying to get a better position. Her smile faded slowly under his burning gaze.
Chad shifted and let his arousal press against Tory. There was no more denying his feelings, he realized. She might as well know the worst of it, he thought, and tell him to go to hell now, as later. He saw the surprise in her eyes as he pressed against her, deliberately. He waited for her to denounce him and call him every foul name in the book. She didn’t.
Tory felt her heart stop as she felt his hard arousal blatantly pressing against her body. If that wasn’t meant for her, surely he would pull away, apologize or make a joke. But he didn’t say a word, just stared at her. She told herself to move, to push away and get up off that big bed right now. Funny, though, her body didn’t respond. Or at least, it didn’t respond the way her brain told it to.
Tory pressed back against him and then moved her hips in sensuous, rhythmic way. She parted her lips, trying to catch more oxygen, hoping it would clear her head. Instead, she licked her lower lip slowly, holding his eyes with hers the whole time. Chad groaned and it sounded loud in the room. He moved his hand at her shoulder and slid it down. He paused for a second, that felt much longer, and then he closed his hand over her firm, large and round breast. He squeezed and felt her hard nipple pressing against his palm.
Someone groaned, or sighed, or something. Tory moved and pushed her breast into his hand, wanting him to massage and mold her flesh with his hand. He responded immediately, as if he could read her mind. He cupped the big breast and weighed it with his hand, then jiggled and bounced it. He moved his fingers to tweak and fiddle with her nipple, which pointed up at him, impudently. He stopped after a minute and his fingers moved to the v-neck of the shirt. He tugged it down and to the side. Her breast popped free and was exposed in all its naked glory. Tory moaned as she watched his head lower and then cried out as she felt his hot, wet mouth envelope the taut bud.
Chad sucked her nipple like a baby, seeking its food. He tugged and sucked, flicking it with his tongue. The whole time his hand lifted and pressed the boob up for his satisfaction. She tasted incredibly sweet, but he wanted to taste other delicacies as well. He lifted his head and his mouth moved up to her parted lips. She felt his warm breath and then he was kissing her like the world was ending. He took, demanded and invaded her mouth. His hand deserted her breast and went straight down her rounded tummy. He slid through the curls that he knew matched the color of her glorious hair. He tugged on the curls and lifted his mouth for a moment.
“Spread them for me, my sweet.”
Tory moved her legs apart and cried as she felt his fingers caress her wet lips and then move inwards to find her secrets. His mouth covered hers again as his finger went without pause or misdirection straight to her clit. She shivered at his touch and then her body jerked wildly as he worked the tender, super sensitive bud of passionate flesh. A high-pitched keening cry escaped her throat as he moved his fingers relentlessly until she came hard and fast I his arms. Her hips jerked wildly. If she had been a wild horse, he figured she would have unseated him just then. Chad moved two fingers into her channel, wanting to take her even higher. He pressed and curved his fingers and started his magic once again with her tender clit. It was a wild ride indeed and a few moments later, Tory unleashed her passion and flooded his hand with her liquids.
Chad kept his hand covering her lips, one finger just off of her clit and the other two, still buried in her hot flesh. He watched her face and felt her body’s inner contractions slowly wind down. When she opened her eyes, he was staring down at her, a soft smile curving his lips. He waited until she focused on him, and then me moved his fingers, which still so intimately pressed to her body. He smiled as her skin flushed. He lowered his head and kissed her lips.
The kiss was light, gentle, like the calm after the great storm. It all felt so right, in spite of what either had felt before. Chad lifted his head and started to say something.
“Tory…”
The phone rang and it sounded ridiculously loud. The both jumped in surprise. Chad cursed loudly and rolled away to grab the phone on the other side of the bed. Tory scrambled to cover her body and slid out of the bed. She could hear Chad speaking into the receiver.
“No, Mom. It’s not a problem. I’ll bring your gray shoes in the morning. What? Oh, Tory went to bed straight away.” Tory didn’t wait to hear anything else and scooted out of the room. She closed the connecting door between the two rooms and climbed into the twin bed. She lay stiffly under the covers, half-expecting Chad to come through the door. But the seconds, and then the minutes passed. Her door stayed shut. Eventually, Tory fell asleep.
Tory heard Chad’s alarm going off the next morning. She was tempted to hide under the covers and pretend last night had happened at all. But they had to go to her uncle’s funeral this morning. She felt bad that she could even have been so without sensibility as to allow the attraction to have surfaced. She stopped in the bathroom and brushed her teeth. She took one look at her wild hair and grimaced. She put her robe on and wandered out to the kitchen. She saw the coffee had been started, but she didn’t see any sign of Chad. She looked at the window of the kitchen that overlooked the mudroom and from there, the back door. A deck had been added over the years and she saw Chad was sitting on the deck. She stiffened her spine and decided to go outside. She waited until the coffee was perked and poured two cups.
Chad looked up as he heard the back door open. He saw Tory coming towards him carrying two steaming cups of coffee. She passed him one of the cups and sat in the chair next to his. A small table was between the two chairs. Chad took a sip and gazed out over the land that was now his. He and his mother had talked briefly about the future, but he hadn't committed himself to returning. In his mind, he was committed, but he was hesitant to say the words. And then he remembered that he had told Tory that he was back for good. He turned his head and watched as she sipped her coffee. She looked so serene sitting there, the morning light bathing her skin with translucency. He set his cup down and shifted in the chair to partially face Tory.
Tory was aware of Chad’s gaze and finally shifted her’s over towards him. He looked devastatingly attractive with a morning’s growth of whiskers. She couldn’t stop the thought of what it would feel like to be kissed when he had those short whiskers. Would they tickle, scratch, or maybe leave a mark. Chad’s voice startled her from her thoughts.
“We have to talk, Tory.”
Tory looked away and looked out over the land she had played on for so many years. She chewed her lower lip for a moment. “Maybe we should just say it was over wrought emotions, and things just got out of hand for a bit.” She looked over at him and then quickly towards the fields beyond. It was so beautiful here that it could almost make you cry, at times.
Chad nodded, not answering for several long moments. “We could say that, I guess.” He leaned forward. He eyes bore into hers. “But personally, I enjoyed what I had in my hands.”
Tory gasped and felt heat rush through her body. The warmth rushed to her face and straight to her groin. Wetness seeped out, signaling her arousal. Not that she needed to feel that to know she was aroused by Chad. She knew she was breathing faster, almost hyperventilating. She tried to calm down.
“Chad…”
He seemed to perceive her distress. He stood suddenly and grinned down at her. “Let’s just forget it happened, Squirt. Now, we better get busy or we’ll be late. And I still have to find my mom’s gray shoes.”
They drove to the funeral home in Chad’s father’s car. It was a big white Cadillac. It was a deluxe model, which had more years on it than miles. Tory had decided to wear a nice denim dress she had, which had lace accents. She had taken a lace scarf and tied it around her hair to keep it back and semi under control. She had also replaced the high heels with flat shoes. On her lap, was a sack holding Grace’s shoes. As soon as the car was parked, Tory opened her door and stood. She was glad to leave the confines of the car. Chad had been joking and friendly, but Tory had been unable to completely bury her thoughts and her feelings, from earlier. She heard some children shouting and turned to see Luke’s two children calling her name and waving at her.
Tory smiled at the two boisterous boys. She knew they were too young to fully understand what was going on. She listened to their excited chatter about how their grandmother had stayed at their house, which was something she had never done before. She handed the sack to the six year old, Seth, and asked him to take the sack inside to his grandmother. She watched as the two boys took off running across the lot and back inside the funeral home. It was funny how sometimes the prettiest of days had funerals on them. She thought that rain would be more fitting to the feelings. But she also knew that her Uncle Seth wouldn’t have wanted them all to be sad. He was a good man, and one who had taken his brother’s stepchild to his heart and treated her like the daughter he never had.
Chad lightly put his hand around her arm. He had seen the melancholy look on her face. “Are you all right, Tory?”
Tory turned and looked up at Chad. It seemed that for as long as she could remember, up until she was almost sixteen anyway, Chad had been part of life. His family let her stay with them every summer, and too many weekends to count. Seeing his family, waiting outside some of them, and others inside, reminded her of why they were all there. She felt tears start to her eyes. She pulled her arm free of his touch and turned away.
“I need a minute alone.” She quickly walked away from the funeral home, using the sidewalk down the tree-lined street. She sniffed, wondering why now; she was feeling the intense sadness. She knew that grief didn’t follow any rules. She fumbled in her purse for some Kleenex. A white handkerchief appeared over her shoulder.
Tory stopped walking and took the handkerchief. A smile curved her lips. She turned, knowing who would be there. Chad saw her tears and pulled her into his arms, hugging her gently.
“I’m sorry. I should be comforting you, your mother. I thought I had gotten most of tears out already.”
Chad lightly stroked his hand over her curls. Tears filled his own eyes. God! He missed his father, and he had a lot of regrets over the last years. He should have come home more often. Hell, there were a lot of things he possibly should have done. He relaxed his hold as he felt Tory pressing against his chest. He blinked quickly but Tory saw the moisture in his eyes. Tory’s next words surprised him though.
“I feel guilty about last night.”
Chad shook his head. “You don’t have anything to feel guilty about, Tory.”
Tory shrugged, not sure how to explain. “I feel like I should have been too overcome with grief… Or maybe it was disrespectful to Uncle Seth’s memory… I don’t know!”
Chad nodded slowly. “I understand, honey. But don’t feel guilty. We need to talk, and we can’t do that here. Come on. Let’s go back and once today is over, we’ll go somewhere quiet and talk about us.”
Tory spent the day talking to so many family members she lost track of who was who. Her parents were there, and she talked with them for a little while, but was glad when her stepfather went over to spend time with Grace and grandchildren distracted her mother. But every so often, she would look up and see Chad watching her. Sometimes, his gaze almost felt like a caress upon her skin.
After the service at the cemetery, followed by a dinner in the church’s social hall, the family and friends went to a niece’s home, which was just down the street from the funeral home. She had food there, brought in by friends, neighbors and family. Like many funerals that had gone before, the children played, the adults reminisced and the teenagers flirted and joked with one another. But for some reason, Tory felt like she didn’t belong. She wasn’t a blood relation, even though she had been close to her uncle.
It was getting late in the day and people were starting to leave. Some had a long way to drive and others did not. Tory had made her way over to where Grace was talking to some family that were getting ready to leave. Grace turned to Tory and smiled at her.
“Hello, dear. Chad should be back in a few minutes, if you are ready to head back home.”
Tory nodded. She asked if Grace was ready to go home and was surprised when her aunt told her she was going to stay with her sister Rose, for a few days. She told Tory that she wanted her to stay at the house for as long as she wanted. She was sorry, after asking to come and stay, but her sister really wanted her to stay with her. She told her it would only be two days, at the most, and then she would be back and they could visit. Tory nodded and was feeling dazed.
A few seconds later, Grace was called over to speak to someone else who was leaving. Her own family came over and said they were leaving as well. She hadn't told her parents about staying at the farm for the week, and decided that now probably wasn’t the best time to bring it up either. She kissed them both goodbye and promised to call in a few days. After that her brother and his family left. Her sister and her fiancé followed them.
She saw Chad return with a small bag in one hand. He set it down near where his mother was sitting. She kissed his cheek, but Tory couldn’t tell what they were saying. She did see Grace look over in her direction and smile. Chad walked over to where she was sitting by herself.
“You had enough ‘family’ to last a while?”
Tory gave him a crooked smile. Damn! He could read her mind at times, she thought, and nodded. He held his hand out to her and pulled her to her feet.
“Then let’s get out of here.”
Chad was the master of quick goodbyes, which no one else in the family seemed familiar with the concept. Tory was glad to in the car with Chad, and quiet. She rolled the window down and took off the scarf around her hair. She didn’t care if the winds made her hair go wild. Chad looked over at her, laughed and rolled his own window down. The ride back to the house passed quickly.
Back home, Chad left her off at the house and then parked the car in the garage. He strolled back to the house and found Tory sitting on the deck. She had kicked her shoes off. Chad had already removed his suit jacket and tie. He unbuttoned his shirt and rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt. He came over and sat in the chair he had occupied that morning. He watched the gentle breeze stirring the long grasses as the sun began to set in the sky. He sat and enjoyed the silence after the hectic and emotional day.
Tory leaned her head back and closed her eyes. When she spoke, she surprised herself. “Did you ever wonder why I wanted to come out here all the time, even when Jenna and Scott never did?”
Chad turned his head and looked at Tory. She still had her head tilted back and her eyes were closed. “I guess I didn’t. I just accepted that you were here, all the time.”
Tory opened her eyes and smiled over at Chad. “If I could have, I would have lived here with your family.”
Chad frowned. “Why? You always seemed happy with your family.”
“I was. But there was something about being here. I don’t know, but this felt more like home to me, than my own home. Your parents always made me feel welcome.” She paused. She looked over at Chad. “But the real reason was you.”
Her words hung in the air between them. She was surprised she had admitted the truth, even to herself. She thought that maybe she had always known the truth, but admitting it was something else entirely. She wasn’t deluding herself. She knew that what Chad had felt last night could easily have just been lust. Admitting that she had had more than a schoolgirl crush on him for years might be more than he was interested in hearing.
She waited a moment, but when Chad didn’t say anything, she went on. “When we were together, I always felt different. It is hard to describe it now. It is like trying to take a favorite memory from your childhood, and examine it and pick it apart with an adult’s eyes and rationale. You try and see it logically, but it is better to just accept it was a child’s memory. I missed you so much after you left for college. I don’t think I ever knew what loneliness was until those first weekends I came and you were no longer here. Luke seemed happy enough to spend time with me, when he was chasing after his current girlfriend. But it wasn’t the same, ever again.”
Tory stopped and watched the sun sink beyond the horizon. “I’m going inside. It’s getting too chilly for me.”
Chad watched her walk inside and shut the door. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. He had had a hard time holding his tongue, while he listened to her pour out her feelings. It had been an emotional day. And last night had not helped things. How could he tell her that he had gone away to college, instead the university in her town, because of his feelings for her? He didn’t know when it had all started to change. But his last semester in high school, he had begun to see Tory differently. She wasn’t the young cousin he spent time with anymore.
And when she had come to spend the summer as she had too many years before to count, almost everyday he began seeing things about her that told him she wasn’t a child anymore. Subtle things, all of them, but building slowly, as they seemed to do inside of him, until the day before she was to leave for home. Chad had discovered the day before where one of the barn cats had gone to have her kittens. So, the following afternoon, he had taken Tory up into the loft to show her the tiny kittens, just beginning to open their eyes. Tory had been enthralled even though she had seen many other newly born animals over the years. He remembered watching her pick one up and cradle it tenderly in her hands as she spoke to it so softly. He had felt something get jerked awake, inside him, all of a sudden. As he looked at Tory, the sunlight streaming through in places and highlighting her hair, he saw the budding young woman. He saw her now as a cousin, but as a sexually attractive girl.
He had told her they better get going, before everyone else found out their secret. Tory had laughed and set the kitten down. And for some strange reason, she had launched herself at him, knocking him into a pile of hay. She had tickled him until he got the upper hand and flipped her onto her back. He had hold of each hand and pressed them down to either side of her head, and his legs held hers confined between his. When she finally stopped fighting, ready to admit defeat, he had felt his arousal hard, hot and eager, demanding release. He knew he should get off of her. Hell, he was a little over 18 and she was almost 16. And suddenly, the kids’ play didn’t seem so childish anymore. He was aware of her curvy hips and soft cleft that seemed to nestle his hard manhood perfectly. His eyes had moved from her parted lips, down to her heaving chest. He didn’t miss her full breasts, which were quivering from her rapid breathing. She rarely wore a bra, and until this year it hadn't really mattered. But suddenly, she had blossomed.
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